The Lord's Timing
My papers were in! My interviews went well and my therapist gave me the thumbs up to go, I was ecstatic! I couldn't believe that it was actually finally happening! Today when I got home my bishop gave me the news. The stake president received a phone call.. The brethren want me to wait a full year from the last time that I cut myself, so March 5th.. four more months!
The last time they told me I needed to wait I was a wreck, I cried on and off all day, and I almost left the church. Boy did that make things worse. I was so frustrated and angry with God and myself! It had almost been a year and I screwed things up again! Why?! It is too easy to fall back into old habits and addictions when things get hard. But I am here to tell you that it is so NOT worth it! And if you do fall back down, you can always get back up! It may take longer than you or others want, but when you let The Lord help you, it will happen when it needs to.
Now don't get me wrong, I definitely cried. But after a minute of talking to my bishop and parents and getting a blessing, I was filled with so much peace. For some reason the past few months I took the time to really ponder and pray about how I would respond if they asked me to wait longer. I had to prepare myself for that what if. I couldn't let myself fall back into my deep hole I was in before.
Going on a mission is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I cannot wait to be able to get out there and share the word of this incredible gospel. I've had my good and bad times, but with the eternal perspective the gospel gives so many people, it is so much easier to feel at peace when those trials come.
I know that God lives and that He loves each and every one of us more than we could ever know. I am so grateful for the Lord's timing! Even though it can be really frustrating when things don't go according to plan, I know that it will all work out in the end. Always remember that with The Holy Ghost, Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven on your side you have a pretty amazing team.
The last time they told me I needed to wait I was a wreck, I cried on and off all day, and I almost left the church. Boy did that make things worse. I was so frustrated and angry with God and myself! It had almost been a year and I screwed things up again! Why?! It is too easy to fall back into old habits and addictions when things get hard. But I am here to tell you that it is so NOT worth it! And if you do fall back down, you can always get back up! It may take longer than you or others want, but when you let The Lord help you, it will happen when it needs to.
Now don't get me wrong, I definitely cried. But after a minute of talking to my bishop and parents and getting a blessing, I was filled with so much peace. For some reason the past few months I took the time to really ponder and pray about how I would respond if they asked me to wait longer. I had to prepare myself for that what if. I couldn't let myself fall back into my deep hole I was in before.
Going on a mission is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I cannot wait to be able to get out there and share the word of this incredible gospel. I've had my good and bad times, but with the eternal perspective the gospel gives so many people, it is so much easier to feel at peace when those trials come.
I know that God lives and that He loves each and every one of us more than we could ever know. I am so grateful for the Lord's timing! Even though it can be really frustrating when things don't go according to plan, I know that it will all work out in the end. Always remember that with The Holy Ghost, Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven on your side you have a pretty amazing team.
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